for all those wonderful lovely souls, objects and moments – a reflection of my own self...
I had once read in this amazing book ‘The Road Less Travelled’ by M. Scott Peck that no matter what, whether we want it or not, Grace will always find us and bless us.
It was on Thursday, 8th February 2001, Grace blessed me with Hanna Hudeczek (Hania). It was special, I did feel it in the beginning. Never did I realize to this extent as I did until recently, when she came to visit me, almost a decade later of first knowing each other, how blessed I have been by my Grace Hania.
It was during this holiday, trek around Annapurnas, this magical journey that we envisioned this name ‘Magic Mountains & The Amber Sea’ to relate to, to weave into our tales of magical moments, and, thus, to share this beautiful perception of life and Universe.
The magic did not come easy, like a wizard would make some circles with his/her magical stick in thin air and there we had it all. Life is not easy, it comes with all the bitterness and sweetness together. What is important is to see through all these, and see the magic that lies beyond. It is quite difficult to start with, but not impossible. One day, I don’t know how, I found beauty in suffering. It felt suffering can’t be that bad at all – there is something more behind the pain. This came with a lot of effort, and radical thinking and, thus, constant struggle within myself.
This magical journey has touched depths of our hearts and minds, shaken grounds of our values and ethics and all the preconceived ideas and notions of love and relationship, pure friendship, social life, ego, acceptance and humility and all that. Even after over two weeks after our magical journey, the moments and events and feelings are spinning in my heart and head, I finally have this moment to write.
I always have had this strong believe in this world beyond the perceptual world. I am sure everybody does sense it in their own individual ways. This magical journey with beloved Hania has been unfolding of moments, events, and, thus, understanding at individual level – something like a cell that multiplies into a beautiful human, like a tiny seed growing into a beautiful flower – unfolding of magical mountains and the amber sea.
Form the very start, from the day Hania arrived, it was an amazing flow. The trek and the journey was like reliving childhood days. Taking care of each other, companionship of soul mates, listening to each other’s tales and spiritual musings, understanding each other without to have to utter words, allowing each other all the time and space in the world, the excitement of arriving a new home almost every day, moments of bliss, moments of silence – this journey has been the most magical of all.
It is amazing how we inspired each other and learnt from each other. Hania has this amazing sensitivity and understanding. She could hear my feelings, and made no compromise in her loving – a true friend, a caring sister, a warm mother – a genuine soul mate. Patience and kind lovingness of Hania has been my own sense for loving and growth. Long, beautiful and tranquil mornings, I would wake up in total magic and awe. This wonderful gift of magical journey with Hania, I felt lucky and blessed to discover her every day.
I remember, over two years ago, when I had climbed through the pine forest, the section between the bridge after Bhratang and Dhikur Pokhari, I had been hard hit by this melancholy – so intense with aroma of pines that was like reminiscence of a distant memory. This journey through the same pines, the melancholic reminiscence was fulfilled by immense love of Hania – I felt complete.
One of the most bizarre experiences and realizations has been finding my reflection on everything my eyes fell upon. As though everything I observed had some kind of subtle message for me – be this object a person, a perfect lining, magical mountains, river, animals, path, trees, anything and everything. The immense love I found in my big heart somehow was inspired by Hania – reflection of Hania’s loving.
The other realization, which came from Hania’s patience, was awaiting for events and moments to unfold. Learning to await, not to worry – worry about my own expectations, insecurities and plan. If it were to happen they would happen anyway. There will be signs and omens. And, how amazingly, this transformed me into a more softer and calm human in my everyday life.
This learning and growth was possible because we are not perfect, therefore, feeling free to be the real us without any pretence. This instilled in me confidence and faith in myself and my loving, to be bold and face myself.
I feel this strong desire to share this kind of learning – inspiring one another through true and unconditional love. I am so proud of our love – I would like to tell this story to my children, inspire them to have real big hearts. I was so excited to tell this story to beloved Rajani!
Hania had mentioned how she was going to miss all of this after getting back home. It had occurred to me then, we came into each other’s life like beautiful sunshine – one that will continue to give us warmth even after we are separate in terms of physical distance. The seed had been sown – I have no apprehension the magic would end with our journey. The spirit of this magical journey continues to live with us, and shine upon us to inspire us to find this magic in our daily lives.
The unfold of magical moments has been something like Hania had once mentioned, this magical journey we lived as we travelled together was already there, we were just playing our parts somehow. As though the magic has always been there, and we are lucky enough to (and sure enough to be able to accept) experience it unfold into moments as we travelled together.
It feels like a dream as I recall memories of the magical journey with Hania, yet only we know how real it was. I am still awe struck and treasure those special moments with Hania. I feel my heart has grown manifold in love – I already feel a new person than what I was before Hania’s arrival.
