The present condition of my left wrist, which requires resting, is not a condition not to go and receive Rajani when she arrives coming Wednesday.
I am amazed to observe how all the bitterness of not understanding each other, just moments before Rajani left for India last Thursday, has vanished into the thin air. I can see it was the ego that blinded me a while.
All that matters to me is being next to my other half when she is back home.
The conversation and sharing last night is afresh. I am still thinking about all we talked about as we drank and sat around fire at Robins' place.
The thought of lust of the flesh is so tempting proposition at times it feels as though part of the world is led by male chauvinism spearheaded by dick head.
I am reminded of the incident of meeting Doreen at the Antaris Project while in Germany. How blissful I was being next to my new found friend when I needed love. Yet, nothing sexual happened between us.
This event is constant in my mind, and I can only feel it as a miracle.
Jumping back to the topic of lust of the flesh, it seems to me like an ego blind folding the eyes as long as I am not aware that I am.
When I can sense the ego of other kinds, like the bitter see-off incident with Rajani blinding me for a while, I do sense it must be so very normal that dick headed male chauvinism blinding the minds of men.
I thank to the existence - I sense the blind folding ego rides our mind creates which would make us do things probably we would not have wanted to otherwise.
I am also aware of the paradox that exists, and I am trying to find the meaning for myself.
It is amazing to witness the universe working inside me and I am sure this is similar for many of us. I am so happy to sense the wisdom that feels like the clear blue sky which was blurred by the gray clouds of ego.
No ego and no judgment, no judgment and all acceptance, and understanding things in their essential form rather than making a fantasy that actually doesn't exist, and being stubborn to this fantasy of mind.
It is not easy at all to distinguish between this fantasy and the essential being. On top, the social prejudices and norms that have molded us over the years makes it even more difficult to distinguish. It has been an immense challenge to me to have come to this understanding when the whole lot around me seem to have a different stance on the understanding.
Further, the other understanding is so infectious, to be able to stick to one's stance on wisdom seems feeble and even insane sometimes.
The tiny little hope of my understanding that I have seen is clue to my biggest wisdom I have sensed in recent years. And, to me, this would not have been possible without the presence of my other half in my life.
12:39 am
25th Jan 2010.
I am amazed to observe how all the bitterness of not understanding each other, just moments before Rajani left for India last Thursday, has vanished into the thin air. I can see it was the ego that blinded me a while.
All that matters to me is being next to my other half when she is back home.
The conversation and sharing last night is afresh. I am still thinking about all we talked about as we drank and sat around fire at Robins' place.
The thought of lust of the flesh is so tempting proposition at times it feels as though part of the world is led by male chauvinism spearheaded by dick head.
I am reminded of the incident of meeting Doreen at the Antaris Project while in Germany. How blissful I was being next to my new found friend when I needed love. Yet, nothing sexual happened between us.
This event is constant in my mind, and I can only feel it as a miracle.
Jumping back to the topic of lust of the flesh, it seems to me like an ego blind folding the eyes as long as I am not aware that I am.
When I can sense the ego of other kinds, like the bitter see-off incident with Rajani blinding me for a while, I do sense it must be so very normal that dick headed male chauvinism blinding the minds of men.
I thank to the existence - I sense the blind folding ego rides our mind creates which would make us do things probably we would not have wanted to otherwise.
I am also aware of the paradox that exists, and I am trying to find the meaning for myself.
It is amazing to witness the universe working inside me and I am sure this is similar for many of us. I am so happy to sense the wisdom that feels like the clear blue sky which was blurred by the gray clouds of ego.
No ego and no judgment, no judgment and all acceptance, and understanding things in their essential form rather than making a fantasy that actually doesn't exist, and being stubborn to this fantasy of mind.
It is not easy at all to distinguish between this fantasy and the essential being. On top, the social prejudices and norms that have molded us over the years makes it even more difficult to distinguish. It has been an immense challenge to me to have come to this understanding when the whole lot around me seem to have a different stance on the understanding.
Further, the other understanding is so infectious, to be able to stick to one's stance on wisdom seems feeble and even insane sometimes.
The tiny little hope of my understanding that I have seen is clue to my biggest wisdom I have sensed in recent years. And, to me, this would not have been possible without the presence of my other half in my life.
12:39 am
 |
| with Doreen at Antaris Project, Germany 2009 |
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