Feel like writing something. Do not know where or how to begin. It has been a while since I last wrote.
I got this nice feeling while in toilet that ya, I better write something tonight. It feels warm from within. In essence it is about reflections on some of the recent internal journeys. Journeys that we all go through – of spiritual and wonder, of the push and pull within, of mind and heart, of never ending chain of thoughts. While on these rides, by some miracle and grace I am starting to notice my breathing. Like the breathing is coaxing me into some kind of trance.
I have discovered my meditation. And, it is not as difficult. It is actually so obvious, and so accessible, if we care to notice. And, it can be any time or moment of day – whether running, biking, resting, in the toilet, while cooking, at work, in the meetings, and even in bed.
Ramblings of daily mind – like the waves that flow in over your feet and make you wet, and then flow away after a while. The waves are somehow like those internal ups and downs. Yet, you are there, on the shore, and you are there breathing. As though you start observing those waves come and go. The waves or the ramblings stop affecting your being. You are simply there, in the ‘now’.
I am constantly being hit by highs and lows, happy moments and not happy moments and sad moments, joy and monotony of struggles, calmness of being and chain of thoughts and worries, newness in everyday, surprises and the boring repetitive tasks. I do get affected most of the time by these waves. Sometimes I try to stay stand put, and keep breathing. What I have started to notice is the ‘breathing’ is slowly starting to show itself up. I have started to notice more often, in those rare moments, of the ‘breathing’ eclipsing the waves instead of myself having to remind me to meditate. This is quite spectacular – to be able to register breathing eclipsing the waves instead of enforcing meditation.
And not judge the ride, myself or any of it happening. Simply observe and be in the trance. Relying on the breathing while feeling the upper core. There is something magical there, and the least I can say is the feeling of deep love.
To be able to find that lead, the breathing that starts to take over, feels so very lucky. To be able to follow that ray of hope and dive within. Wow, I feel so humble and in awe – that I am even able to find that and follow it. Taking me straight into my heart and the upper core. It is amazing – to access the real me – breathing and calm – the me in ‘now’.
It feels pious, like finding home as we traverse through fog with almost zero visibility. Indeed an auspicious ritual – visiting home and the warmth of home coming. The heart exuberates with love and warmth. To find the auspicious temple – so invisible or overlooked otherwise.
Feels like a feat – simple yet so elusive, and far-fetched (if I look back at my early days of adulthood when I started this journey) yet so accessible.
I thank – thank the universe – for this amazing opportunity.
Balwatar home, 10:50 pm
25 August 2021
