Rara Reflection

The collective experiences from Jumla Rara Ultra Marathon 2025 trail run leaves me mesmerised — how blessed and sacred this entire journey has been.

It is this magical bowl up there in the high mountains that forms the Rara lake — like an elusive grandeur secluded in a valley. The Jumla Rara closing ceremony was over and I was walking around the lake to go out of the valley, to Salleri to catch a bus for Jumla. The cusp around Rara lake where the trail climbs out of the valley onto the grand Milichaur meadow and further down to Salleri, this elusive point is hidden unless you have been there or know about it. As though an enveloping mist — a warm feeling that takes all over you — I was in complete awe how amazing the lake formation is, like some kind of a hidden gem in the high mountains. The journey further to Salleri and onwards winds downhill — going below Rara lake. This was a quirky amazing feeling — the lake up there and myself, as though, descending down from a heaven.

The magical bowl — nature’s big bowl up in the high mountains, surrounded by pine forest and rhododendron trees, rocky mountains, meadows with beautiful little yellow flowers. A magical nestle with clear turquoise lake is a mystical journey unlike any. The entire geography must be nature’s magnificent design that holds the huge and beautiful Rara up above the valleys and mountains that one has to navigate to reach.

The morning after the race, waking up to clear blue sky, sun peering through pines, the pine trees standing on a brown and green meadow, a small stream flowing further away, occasional bird songs and raven crows, the invigorating pine aroma of the forest was making me high.

I was in Rara, my being was high on a mystic nostalgia. Flashes of similar experiences from the past, ambient pine aroma, the immense gratitude I was feeling for the abundance made me thank the eternal Universe and the firmament of being through which we all inter connect. The breathe reminded me I am not flying away in some sci-fi journey. I was here and in the ‘Now’ — around the majestic Rara. I was yearning to share this beautiful journey with my beloved ones who have been through my thick and thin.

I had dedicated this run to myself — my being — which made it possible to experience this amazing journey. The firmament of my being — the collective spirit of atoms and molecules that is thus me — oh thank you… thank you!

Jumla Valley far in the background while headed for Danphe Pass at 3300 m

 

Rara Lake grandeur while descending down from Chuchemara Pass at 4100 m

#trailrunning #trail #trailrun #Jumla #Rara #raralake #Karnali #nepal #farwestnepal #farwest #magicmountainss #ambersea #MMAS #himalayas

 My first blog for 2024, wow!

 

Thank you for this pious moment - feel like taking this moment to pour down this abundance oozing from the depth of my heart.

I feel truly amazed and grateful for this abundance I feel - while I am with myself. While I take my moment to thank the Universe, my Fore-bearers and the Sun. As I start my morning runs with a busy mind, slowly I get in tune with my breathing and the focus on my upper core. The mind wanders, and I observe that too. And, slowly I bring myself to the breathing - deep long breathes. To the feeling deep within the upper core - where I can sense the struggle the body is making to keep going. It is simply amazing to observe this. The affirmation with the body helps me calm down my mind. I say to myself - yes, this is the abundance. Thanks to the temple I am housed in and the guide that is through this breathing - I am able to draw myself within. This is my divinity. I feel this solitude connects me with the essence of the Universe - the existence that is - a tiny wee part of which we are experiencing via our lives. How blessed we are - I am - to be able to witness this abundance.

I take a moment to express my gratitude to the Universe, to my fore-bearers and the Sun for this amazing experience.

All the struggles, pain and headache, that come with trail running and mountain biking, are simply a means to this inner journey of salvation. Somehow this journey has helped me find renewed meaning into my 40s. If not for this divine morning moments life can be full of unfulfilled wishes and desires. The mind can drive us insane while we spiral down an abyss.

If not for this divine moment the mind can rally us along its tides, battering us with fear, uncertainty and feeling deprived. I am truly grateful that I am able to observe my mind taking me on its ride while within the upper core deep down it feels a different story. If I am mindful and present in the moment, the experience can be somewhat different than just being driven by the mind. Not that the mind ride is totally bad, it is also about observing and listening to the deep down upper core.

This is a tough practice. No matter how few (or often times non) these might be happening on a daily basis, yet I am truly humbled and grateful.

Cheers to this renewed life in 40s.

Empty Mind

It was about our day

On the bed

The much awaited story

As my other half shares

It starts

Overwhelming serene ambience

Peaceful - beautiful

Void of thoughts

Void of judgement

My own being

And that of my other half

Like two sides of a river

Fully present

In each other’s company

Wide open - doors of perception

These moments

Of magic and connection

And being

Though rare

I say

Grateful and blessed

I am

Dolpo 2019

Full Circle Panauti

This is an oldie goldie written on Monday, 23 February 2009.

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Full Circle Panauti

 

I did a trip to Panauti this weekend, and the entire trip has been a magical experience. The sheer pleasure of biking, the exotic views, eating in teashops along the way, chatting with local people in the teashops, feeling of a nomad and metaphors that occurred as reflections, as though making a big Full Circle. They are like quirky feelings, yet as profound as still water that runs deep.

I made my way through Patan – Gwarko – Lubu – Lamatar – Lakuri Bhanjyang – Panauti – a one-day photography workshop with Mani Lama in Panauti – Banepa – Bhaktapur – Baneshwor to visit dad – Reliance School to visit my dear teachers – and back home.

The reflection of this trip is a ride into the past – life when I was small and how it used to be back then. I felt it in Panauti while making photographs of traditional brick houses, alleys, fields, simple life of a village town, constructing home using mud, children playing marbles and making toy out of clay and the smell of earth. Panauti is a close-knit town. So did I feel inside – a close-knit circle of friends and situations trying to inspire each other in making the best possible shots.

On my way back to Kathmandu I felt like visiting my dad. He wasn’t home, so I left him a note saying I had passed by and shared about the splendid time I had this weekend in Panauti. From my dad’s home the very first school I went to is close by. I felt like a magnet pull to visit the school and age-old dear teachers there.
What a nice surprise! I ran into Anita Ma’am and Sanjeev Sir. Excited enough we updated each other about our lives. It was really like visiting my home from the past where we were nurtured with love. This is why I feel so strongly about my five years in Reliance School.

On my way back home I was thinking of this pilgrimage to sacred sites of mine making a Full Circle. Not only this circle of metaphor is so much wider than my imagination but also how euphoric I feel to be able to sense this. Sanjeev Sir has been taking his students outdoors – on treks and overnight camps around Kathmandu. He wants to share the joy of learning that extends beyond the classroom. It was this love for outdoor and experiential learning I poured out all about my trip to Panauti and the workshop experiences.

To me all these eventualities since Friday felt more like a ride down rabbit-hole of the Full Circle. The more I think the more I see the ever expanding Full Circle metaphor, and I simply exclaim to myself ‘life is beautiful’.

Before I bid farewell to my teachers I knew I would be coming back to this wonderful connection from the past in this school. Probably join the students on trip around valley or even introduce weekend biking. And how I feel of sharing my life and love in doing so.

I can’t thank enough! Words don’t mean as much as I feel in my heart. I faced my weakness – the flip trap we all possess called the ‘mind’. I am so proud that this time I could sense my flippy mind riding over my true being, I was able to differentiate my impulse from my true emotions stemming from heart. These impulses and urges being mere tides of an ocean, when the tides go down one can see the life and earth left behind. Yet the excitement is no less, the life and earth signifying the true and un-judged aspect of ourselves. I am simply so very happy, and thank the existence – the individuals, the situations, the moments, the emotions, the Panauti, not least my dad and mom without whom these experiences wouldn’t have been possible.

There is no other big thing I am expecting for or awaiting to happen in my life – I can very much feel it right here… right now!
I ask myself is this the ultimate? Yes, I know to myself… the ultimate is NOW. 

 

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Dolpo Trek II

16 July 2019, Tuesday, Yak Kharka

Somehow the walk from Temche to Yak Kharka seems to be one of the most beautiful treats of the trek.

The valley, immensely beautifully, is carved by gently sloping mountains from two sides, the rivers converging down at Temche – and the start of meadows, some signs of civilization and the view that extends further down the valley of green expanse, river and waterfalls from mountains.

Looking at the mountains – studying the rock formation, following the contours, layers and shape of the mountains – the visual accessibility from their base, the low hanging clouds – this is simply out of the world. Never have I been in such mesmerising beauty in the untouched nature.

As we climb down from the snaky path down to Temche there is seemingly a bus-like rocky mountain on the right. As I go further down, this rocky mountain looks like a bus or rather a space ship, as though it has been there for eternity, and could lift off any moment. The seemingly inanimate land formation is animated.

And there, on some rocky mountains, I see beautiful waterfalls. On one instance, this soft silky water falls between two tapering and slightly slanted mountains. Like some sci-fi structures in-the-waiting.

Why? Why are these perfectly natural geological objects giving me such eccentric feelings? Perhaps, I think to myself, I have never seen and experienced such beautiful splendour ever before. Or, had the slightest clue to what Dolpo Trek would offer.

In the other instance, water sprouts out from a rocky facade like the mountain is throwing up. As though through inner streams and tunnels the water oozes out suddenly like a soft water cannon. The waterfall merges into the river down below.


The valley continues, with green meadow expanse and river cutting right through the gorges. We follow the river, walk quite a bit into the valley. It seems like it would take forever to pass that sloping ridge below in the distant horizon before it opens up new vistas. The path is visible like a serpentine guide below the base of the mountains on the right. The river is further left below the gorges.

And wow, light turquoise bluish water. I see through the water, as though the cleanest and most pure river I have seen.

We arrive Yak Kharka. We have walked the green meadows. Little flowers carpet the green meadow occasionally. I watch out not to tramp, can’t help it as it is all over. The nature inspires me immensely and I feel these beautiful flowers greet us – to welcome us into this beautiful valley and nature. Close to Yak Kharka, past the sloping ridge that has opened into this wide meadow of Yak Kharka, we spot Marmots. Beautiful and shy, they hide into the bushes or their burrows. There are many such burrows all over the green meadow floor. Some openly visible and some slightly hidden by the rocks and bushes.

We are happy to spot our campsite. There are black Naks around – beautiful and full of grace. Rest of our team have arrived. Everyone is delighted and happy after this long descending walk. We have crossed two passes – the Numa La at 5309 meters and the Baga La at 5169 meters in succession. Phew, surely I have conquered some high mountains within.


Today I had a very amazing and wonderful experience climbing up to the Baga La Pass. I was behind the lead Kedar – one of the kitchen crews and porter. It was a slow uphill. As I was climbing, at some point, it was just my breath and me. This was meditative – as though I found my ‘Now’ there. It didn’t matter – the hardship, the small steps, who was ahead or behind. I was in the ‘Now’ and I felt blessed.

This experience somehow started in when we were doing the Numa La Pass yesterday. This one was more difficult and steep. The final attack from the last stop just before the pass – I was flooded with thoughts. So many imaginations were pouring in. Then at one moment I thought ‘Why?’ ‘But why?’

Then it happened – just me and my breath.



I was the third to summit the Numa La Pass, and second on the Baga La Pass.



Yesterday, the arrival at Danigar Base Camp was sort of magical. I remember Danigar a bright sighting for the wet and tiring long walk. It was drizzling. I was partially wet like everybody else. I was cold and hungry. And angry because there was no space to find cover in the tent. While closing in on the camping site, past that final turn, Danigar revealed like a paradise place between two converging meadow mountains. The river curving through the two mountains, and campsite by the river on a little stony grass patch. The river snaked gently, slow and easy, with a bright aura high up there at confluence of the two mountains where the river must have started. It was the next morning that I saw another higher mountain right above the confluence where I had imagined the river had originated.

It had been a crazy walk going steep down the Numa La Pass. The excitement of the pass gradually shadowed by the never ending steep and tiring descend. In a matter of first ten minutes or so I started to feel my knees. I was running down in excitement, and it was my knees that reminded me to take it slow.


We spotted Blue Sheep herd just after the Numa La Pass. There were on the right ridge – on the barren cliff mountain high up at almost 5000 meters. There were quite a few of them with a little kid as well.

By the Side of a River in Yesteryears — 19 March 2005

By the Side of a River

our day out

by the side of a river

a warm sunny day

and breeze is a delight

spirits of the dead

reside out here

we’ll say hello

should we meet one

sit down on soft green grass

watch the water flow

stench of the river

ain’t that bad though

watch the swallows hover

low on the river

and how they swing

playing in the air

a wonderful setting

amidst crazy Kathmandu

a warm sunny day

and breeze is a delight

an eagle nearby

stands on a tiny island of debris

gently glides after a while

and rises back in the air

a tiny creature

swimming in the river

with its head out – sight of a snake

and the eagle has missed it – exclaims my friend

down the river

the snake swims

we’re getting late my friend

let’s follow the snake

‘til it

meets another debris island

where relaxed birds

alarmed, fly back in air

out of sight

the snake and the swallows

a warm sunny day

and breeze is a delight

Saturday - 19 March 2005

Finding my Omens

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

~~~

This journey had a wonderful and surprising beginning.

It started when I met Wendy aboard the Malpensa Express, while traveling from Malpensa Airport to Milano Centrale. Like attracts like and I felt it in full bloom. We connected quickly, having shared what we were in the city for. She liked the idea of our clothing and the Artigiano in Fiera. The context in which we were working, the fairness in our work and selling that in Europe.

She is into fair trade and ecological products. She is an aware lady, and cares about the source and the people who make the products. She is part of the enlightened group that cares about the world, the resources and the people in whole. That intervening cultures and people’s ways (in developing countries) can sometimes negatively impact their life prospects in the long run. It may seem development work, while it might negatively affect their livelihood.

She seemed familiar with Nepal though she had never been here. The company she worked for had a charity project in Nepal. And the charity worked directly with the people in need, building homes for people who had been devastated by the earthquake in 2015.

I appreciated her sensitivity and appreciation for people, unlike herself, from diverse background. I felt she honestly cared and respected the person sitting opposite her who was listening to her in awe.

I was inspired by her and her outlook of the world, and the various people and cultures that made up this world. This is an affirmation and hope for a sustainable, beautiful and abundant earth. That we all feel an integral part of this world and existence.

She presented me this beautiful gift of ‘Frankincense’. 100% pure essential oil. She explained it to me that I could start my day with a beautiful wish. Everything that comes by today, no matter small or big, difficult or easy, may I face them all with love and kindness. May I be surprised by the events that unfold. That I have the patience no matter how hard I’m struck, just watch my breathing and say to myself ‘everything is going to be all right’.

I’d start my day with a touch of Frankincense, as a holy ceremony of blessing myself, my day, my activities, people who were going to cross paths with me, share the goodness of my job with love. Blessing all those who’d come by our stand in the Fiera, all those who helped prepare the beautiful garments, my other half, my daughter, my family, my loved ones, atoms and molecules around.

Send love for a beautiful day full of love for oneself and others. This kind of prospect for day-to-day life brought me immense patience and treat myself with kindness. This would in turn allow me to treat others with patience and kindness. That I would not be carried away with fear and submit to my own impatience. That I got this new power and maturity to tackle issues in life.

It has come a long way. I feel absolutely blessed by the new way of looking at my daily life, bit by bit, with wishes and projection of day full of love and patience.

I thank you Wendy. I thank you for you were the first omen in this journey, and I feel so lucky and blessed for that. Tusen Takk!

~~~

Meeting Carolina, my second omen.

Carolina embraced me without any condition. She liked me for what I am.

She stood by me when I needed her – she was there for me with all her heart. She took care of me and protected me. She made me secure from distant. She fed me from the fount of her bosom when I was thirsty.

She made me aware and that I am intelligent and should affirm to my heart’s resonance. That I know it – I have the information – I have the sense. I should very much listen to my gut instinct. She made me feel so empowered. I have all the means and sensibility, that I could forge ahead with conviction and follow my dreams. It made me accomplish so much – more than I could imagine.

I was surprised to find this new me!

She is a person I enjoyed very much – the company and the work. We’d worked for what we were meant to, and give in the best of our effort. I felt we complemented each other. She contributed with her strengths and I with mine. It was a very good feeling working with her.

She stood like a strong wall, fenced me against my doubts, troubles and weakness. She gave me strength to face my challenges head on. She made sure I had somebody to rely upon, the safety net to fall onto. She stood by me by the storm.

She’d once said ‘Hey Shiv, I am here with you, and I am not leaving you until we finish it all’. This meant the world to me than. She stood by me and helped me until we finished the job.

She came to see me when I was leaving Milan. She was unwell and her body ached. Still she came to say farewell. She brought me a sweater. I told her later it was not only a Christmas gift but also my birthday gift.

It was not easy letting go of her. I kissed her goodbye and headed to the train station.

I feel grateful to have known a soul so beautiful, honest, caring and loving, I miss her. As though without her this special journey is incomplete. I am grateful to the universe for having brought a beautiful and kind soul Carolina in my life.

~~~

Visiting Cedric in Lucerne

I had known Cedric as special and kind friend of Nanu. We had been together in the earthquake of 2015 here in Nepal, and this is what brought us together.

He visited me in December 2015 at the Fiera in Milan, and stayed a night. He visited again last year, and it was lovely to see him again.

I had a feeling I wanted to see him in Lucerne after the Fiera. And I made a very good decision, thanks to Nanu for the encouragement and positive push.

Now, having spent one and a half day in Lucerene was short for a visit. We made the best of that time – we maxed out without rushing. Cedric had taken leave for most part of it, and I felt privileged to have a him as my guide.

We celebrated my 36^th birthday at an Italian Restaurant. This was a beautiful treat from Cedric the evening of my arrival. We walked a bit around that evening.

The next day was super. We went to Rigi Kulmn. The crossing from fog into the brightly lit sunny mountain was magical. As though a whole new world awaited us up there. Below was all grey and cold from the fog.

There was this familiar feeling of being on the mountain top – similar to that of being back home. Then he shared something very special. This drink he had received from a good friend of his, to celebrate his coming back home and to life after the earthquake of 2015. We both took the last sip atop Rigi Kulmn. He said he found it in the back pack he was carrying that day, and who better to share than me. This was super special.

The evening was a fondue party with his good friends. This is an evening hard to forget.

We prepared the fondue – and it all began in his kitchen. We moved to the tower of his house. His friends are special – very different and quite open and kind. As we stuck our long forks into vegetables dipped in fondue and savoured while sipping drink on the side, our conversation was getting more and more interesting. We talked about science, monks, art, spirituality, order and disorder of things. The interesting thing is we could all converse from our stand points, and everyone was open to hearing. This openness and receptiveness, the diverse background of scientists and artists was a beautiful amalgam. The openness, receptiveness and kindness really made me feel part of the evening and part of the people. This was special for it fed my soul. Such discussions and moments are the ones that bring out the best in us.

~~~

The last leg of the trip was visiting Nanu and Vinzenz in the Netherlands. They had recently moved into a new place in Utrecht, and I wanted to see their new home.

I was so happy to be with them. We went twice to the cinema in my 5-day visit. Watching movies together has become kind of a rite.

I shared my new found experiences. The Monday morning of 19^th December I had a long and lovely conversation with Nanu. I could confide in her and share all from the bottom of my heart. Her affirmation is like finding my home.

~~~

I have had such beautiful and fulfilling experiences – I feel my heart calling.

This is my aspiration and inspiration, my university.

I find myself so blessed, with all the beautiful souls around me.

I find myself a new me. Like I have distilled and matured into a rare spirit – sparkling with light, smooth and soft.

I am going to be kind, patient and accept it all with love. That it is coming to me and I believe in it. What I seek is happening, and I just have to be patient and have my senses open for the omens – a magical journey finding my omens.

~~~